Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Global Yawning (the true effect of Global Warming)

Hello friendilineeeees,

I hope you have been having a good time lately, coz life can be a bit of a bastard when it wants to be. This year especially seems to be testing everyone I know to their limits to see if we are worthy of staying on this planet when the liberation army comes from the sky....((what? should I not have mentioned that! I thought we had told the humans that the space army were coming to free them?...well, why not?...they have a right to know, it's their planet after all...what? It isn't theirs?! whose is it then?...oh right, well, I am in the middle of blogging at the moment so could you leave me alone for a bit...yes, I will be up for dinner...look please, I'm trying to write here and all I have written is my stupid conversation with you King Jesus,... gheeze ))

Anyway, hopefully that little crazy aside there will have got rid of anyone that accidentally stumbled across the blog and is not prepared for what I am about to say next...

err...the Earth is on fire! Quick
call the space fire brigade 
Global warming is a scam, a big fat corporate scam to make the little people of the world think that they can actually have some effect on the eco system of the planet. We can't, it's freakin' impossible. Now, I don't mean EVERYONE here, I mean the average joe public, the ones that buy a bag for life and recycle their packaging in order to slow the melting of the ice caps. Joe public has no effect on the atmosphere of this planet...big corporations and weapons testing on the other hand, now that screws the pooch.

I am not a scientist, but I have had conversations with Mother Earth while tripping my balls off, so I have it from a reliable source that everything on this planet is just fine. She explained it to me like how a parent would raise their children. When the children are young, they have little to no regard for their environment, in fact, they like to mess it up, throw things around, break things and generally be as messy as they can...Parents might try to keep order in the beginning, but after a few years of relentless toy throwing, food up noses and make up used to decorate walls, parents have little choice but to give in and let the chaos rule. If the parent doesn't give in, the child will never learn through experimentation, they will become little book trained robots incapable of making decisions for themselves and blindly following the silly rules of the outdated elite. The child becomes a tool rather then a free thinking individual. The parent themselves become objects of experimentation through which to learn the world and they suffer for it. Once a woman gives birth, her body changes in many ways. Mother Earth is the parent in this little analogy, and we humans are the children throwing things about.

Mother Earth, oh yeah, what a MILF!
Children grow up, just as we are trying to do as a species. When the child is old enough, it leaves home and goes out to make something of itself. The parent has ambivalent feelings about this, both missing and applauding their child's efforts as they go out and explore. Mother Earth feels that way about us humans, it's time for us to leave the nest, go out into the stars and make something of ourselves. We have been sitting at home on our computers for too long, we are starting to collectively become a loser forty year old that still lives at home always taking out of the fridge but never stocking it back up again.

Mother Earth will be sad when we leave, but she still wants us to go, for our sake as well as hers. We have been taking from the fridge too long, she needs to replenish it, since we won't.

Here is a little song I quickly rustled up about it...coz that's what I do, rather then trying to save the planet. You can download it for free if you like, no pressure, just saying you can as all.

So there you go, my completely non scientific take on the global warming problem. I just hope we can get off of mum before she goes into menopause and starts hurling furniture at us.

Peace and infinite love

[adj] - Andy D Jackson xx

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